Got Some Jokes………?
Boss: what happened to your ear
man: i was ironing my clothes the phone rang and i accidentally picked up the iron
boss: what happened to your other ear
man: they called back
an american, english and zimbabwean doctor were arguing about which country has the best doctors. The american says ‘we took a man who needed a kidney, did a transplant and a month later he is looking for a job.’ the english doctor says ‘thats nothing we took a man who needed a heart, did a transplant and a week later he’s looking for a job’ then the zim doctor says ‘that nothing. We took a man who needed brains, made him president and now everyone is looking for a job’
the mayor of NY, queen of england and a rapper from crompton are in a helicopter. The queen sticks her hand out and says we in london now, because my hand just hit the millenium eye. Later, the mayor sticks his hand out and says we in NY now because my hand just hit the Empire State Building. The following day the rapper sticks his hand out and says we in crompton. The queen and mayor ask how he knows and he answers my watch got stolen.
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Some flowers.” “That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?” “Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.” “That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl. “Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked. “No,” the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?” With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”
whats red and airie ? a bus with the window open (they red in london depending where you live) knok knok whos there, eggbut ,(eggbut who )egg but no bacon. dont langht to hard but i did try ha haa.
hahahaha
There was a bear and a rabbit who lived together in the forest, and they were always fighting. One day a genie came to grant them 3 wishes each. The bear said, ‘I wish I was a sex machine’ and the genie granted his wish. The rabbit said, ‘I wish I had a helmet’ and his wish was granted. The bear said, ‘I wish all the other bears in the forest were female’ and the genie granted his wish. The rabbit said, ‘I wish I had a motorbike’ and the genie granted his wish. The bear said, ‘ I wish all the female bears in the forest were in live with me’ and his wish was granted. The rabbit went as far as he could on his motorbike and shouted back, ‘I wish the bear was gay!’
There was a boy who said a prayer for his aunt one night and the next day she was dead. That night he said a prayer for his uncle and in the morning his uncle was dead. The boy said that he was going to say a prayer for his dad. The dad was worried, but when he woke up in the morning he was fine. The boy said that he had said the prayer. The dad went outside and the milkman was dead on the doorstep.
There was a boy who had no body and he loved to watch the other boys playing football. His floating head would be on the windowsill watching them. One day a genie offered him one wish, and of course he wished that he had a body. The genie granted his wish and the boy ran across the road to play football but he was hot by a lorry and died. The moral of the story is, If you are ahead, stay ahead.